Shadow
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Aug 20, 2007, 1:22 PM
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photography joke
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My aunt forwarded this joke to me, a little cheesy but good for a chuckle of the day:
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
> father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
> Mr.
> Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, "Well, I'm off now the man should
> be here soon."
>
> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
> happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
>
> Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...' "Oh, no need to explain,"
> Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
>
> "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know
> babies are my specialty?"
>
> "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
> seat"
>
> After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
>
>
>
> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> couch,
> and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
> fun.
> You can really spread out there."
>
> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
> me!"
>
>
>
> "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
> try
> several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
> you'll be pleased with the results."
>
> "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>
>
>
> "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in
> and
> out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>
> "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>
>
>
> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
> baby
> pictures.
>
> "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith
> exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>
> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their
> mother was so difficult to work with."
>
> "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had
> to
> take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding
> around
> four and five deep to get a good look"
>
> "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
>
>
>
> "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The
> mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
> and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
> squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
>
> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh
> ...
> equipment? "
>
> "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and
> we
> can get to work right away."
>
> "Tripod?"
>
>
>
> "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
> big to be held in the hand very long."
>
> Mrs. Smith fainted.
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