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Home: Video University Forums: Filmmakers & Screenwriters:
Short Film: Would like some reviews

tony corella
New User

Apr 17, 2005, 9:28 PM

Post #1 of 6 (2299 views)
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Short Film: Would like some reviews	Can't Post

I am a 17-year-old student and I put this short together with the help of a few friends. I would appreciate any feedback; we shot on a VX-2000 with an ME-66 for sound. This version was compressed before the noise reduction was completed, so disregard some occasional audio hiss. Enjoy.

http://www.easfilmfest.com/wayne.htm

tony corella

(This post was edited by tony corella on Apr 17, 2005, 10:08 PM)

Renny
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Apr 18, 2005, 10:22 AM

Post #2 of 6 (2263 views)
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Re: [tony corella] Short Film: Would like some reviews [In reply to]	Can't Post

Hi Tony:

Well done! Seems like you have quite a grasp on some important technical qualities, like composition, lighting & exposure, sound, using music to enhance the production, and narrative structure.

One thing I think might enhance your production is to bring up some more ambient sound. So like when the cars are passing by, I'd love to actually subtly hear those cars. Or at the beginning when he's watching TV, just the subtlest amount of TV noise would be great.

I didn't look at the credits. Did you or somebody you know make the music? Sounded good. And like I said good DP work.

I'd show you something I made when I was 17, but it would be terribly embarrassing. It involved squirrels and glowing pickles.

Renny
Butylphenyl Methylpropional

Storm Crow
Veteran

May 3, 2005, 11:16 PM

Post #3 of 6 (2192 views)
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Re: [tony corella] Short Film: Would like some reviews [In reply to]	Can't Post

Not bad at all. I enjoyed watching it. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the future!
_________________________________________________

Good Friend, around these hearth stones, speak no evil of any creature.

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tony corella
New User

May 4, 2005, 1:55 AM

Post #4 of 6 (2183 views)
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Re: [Storm Crow] Short Film: Would like some reviews [In reply to]	Can't Post

Hey,

Thanks for all the reviews, just an update as of this evening Wayne and John was announced as a semi finalist at the Moondance Film Festival! You can check it out on the list below, under short narratives.

http://www.moondancefilmfestival.com/05-SemiFinalist.html

tony corella

Dave C
Novice

May 5, 2005, 4:31 PM

Post #5 of 6 (2145 views)
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Re: [tony corella] Short Film: Would like some reviews [In reply to]	Can't Post

hey tony,

I enjoyed your video, How did you compress and connect your link to play in windows media...
I am having a problem doing this....

Thanks
Dave C

Thomas_h
New User

Oct 30, 2005, 3:14 PM

Post #6 of 6 (1472 views)
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Re: [tony corella] Short Film: Would like some reviews [In reply to]	Can't Post

In general a good production. Got some great shots, a good rythm in the tale and lots of history telling standards a met.

Here are what could've been better:

- More closeups
- More clips in each scene
- The jump-cut sequense didn't really work I think. Music stopped suddenly and came back? Editing wasn't tight enough etc. Didn't really build up tension
- In general editing could've been a little tighter. IE in the last scene. Cut from full picture to full picture. That's a no no. And something you really take notice of.

Other than that lighting could've been better, but I guess that's about the money ;)